To My Momma And My Babies, On Mother's Day....

To My Momma...
I am so blessed to have been given the best mother in the world. What makes you the best mother in the world? There are many things. There are all the little moments....
Walking us to the store in California to get a treat, surprising us with a new pink bedroom, school clothes shopping, being my biggest fan during my drama performances, and all the love, hugs, and kisses! Setting your own needs aside, to pour everything into us, your children. Holding me, when things were bad, and praying that the memories of these things would be erased, and they were. When we had nothing, somehow you never let us know this. I remember having everything I ever needed. I don't know how you did it. I remember having the PERFECT childhood, filled with so much love.
Being a strong single mother, and being both mother AND father to me, providing for us with no help, and doing it to perfection. The strength you have had, has taught me how to be strong.
Loving me with UNCONDITIONAL love, when I didn't deserve it. Being there for me and loving me no matter what, through all the mistakes I have made, and cheering me on, as you saw God change me into the woman I am today. My momma, you have always protected us, been there for us, and loved us with everything you had.

Thank you, momma, for everything you are, and continue to be in my life. You made me who I am. You gave me an example to look up to, as I hit very hard struggles, and as I raise my babies. I couldn't live without you. You are my everything, and my best friend. Thank you for being there for hours and hours as I gave birth to my babies. You were the only one I NEEDED there! Remember I would hardly let you step out of the room! And thank you for the ENDLESS prayers. I know I wouldn't have made it through without them! The prayers of a mother are the most precious, and so strong. The prayers of a mother get their children through - and you never stopped praying. You are an awesome woman of God, and since I was a little girl, you were my comfort. I love you with all my heart, my precious momma, and I honor you today, for all you have been, all you are and all you continue to be. I love you with all my heart.

Love Always,
Your firstborn, Blonde haired, Blue Eyed, Little girl
A.K.A. "Muffy"

To My Babies....
I love you more than life it's self. You each have brought such joy into my life, since the moment you were conceived. I loved you even before you were born. And when each of you were born, you added a new joy, each in your own way, into my life. You are the joys of my life, my happiness... When there is nothing I can find to smile about, during the hard times, all I have to do is look at you, and see your precious faces. You each add something something special, in your own little ways, to my life. You are all so different, which is what makes each of you so special.

Ryan - My Baby.... The way you love your mommy, and look at me and say, "Mommy I know I'm 6 now, but can I still be your baby?" melts my heart. The special love we have is priceless. The little things you find on the playground and bring home to me, calling them "treasures you found" are things I look forward to everyday! Even the dirty hair ties, that you want to put in my hair! :) The boldness that you have will be used in wonderful ways by God, and I can't wait to see how He uses you, to glorify Him! You will ALWAYS be "Mommy's Baby". I love you... to the moon, and all the planets! :)

Chase - My Noodle Bug.... Your tender, sweet spirit and soft heart brighten my life, and our home! You bring the most special, pure, sweet love into my life, and the lives of everyone around you. Your hugs and your kisses are so precious, they almost make me cry! I am so proud of your sweet heart and tender spirit. You are so giving. Sacrificing what you want, to make others happy. You have the gift of serving and giving to others. God is going to use that gift that He has given you to bless so many people as you grow up. You are a true example of Jesus' love. I love you so much, my noodle bug!

Taylor - My Angel.... I have called you my angel since you were born, with that "angel blonde hair" that was unlike any of the others, almost shining like a halo! You have had to go through some very hard things this year, and God has used these things to strengthen your relationship with Him, your faith, and your endless strength. The Godly heat that you have is amazing! And the power of your prayers... Wow! If there is a need, you are the first to jump on it and pray, without even being asked! Remember when you anointed your Mimi with oil, and prayed over her? "The oil thing", as you call it! :) You made me SO PROUD! God has big plans for you, my angel. The light you bring into mommy's life is so bright, and I look forward to seeing all that God has planned for you, come to be. I love you, my angel...

Franky - My Sunshine.... My firstborn little boy.... You hold a special place in my heart, that only you can fill. You are growing up so fast, and I am so proud of the Godly life that you live. As I tell you all the time, "You will be a big married man, and I will still pull you onto my lap and love on you!" You are so smart, and I know that you are going to accomplish great things. God has a big plan to use the knowledge that you have to glorify Him, and lead many to Jesus. I love the relationship we have, that we can talk about anything, and I pray that you always feel you can come to your momma with ANYTHING, as you grow up and enter your teenage years soon. I love watching football with you, and it amazes me that you know even more than I do! And I know a lot! :) "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...." I love you so much....

My precious boys, although you call me a dork :), I hope as the years go by, that you remember all the silly songs and dances that momma made up, to make you giggle! I hope you remember that not a night goes by that we don't sing the iCarly song together, and laugh and tickle during it....
"I know you see, somehow the world will change for me, and be so wonderfulllll. Live life, breathe air, I know somehow we're gonna get there, and feel so wonderfulllll..... It's all for real... I'M TELLIN' YOU JUST HOW I FEEL! (that's the tickle part! :)
So wake up the members of my nation. It's our time to be! There's no chance unless we take one! And it's time to see the brighter side of every situation.... Some things are meant to be, so do your best and leave the rest to me.... Leave it all to me. Leave it all to meeee. Just leave it alllll to meeeeeee!"
Now you know as I read this to you today, I will be singing all the way through that part! Tickles and kisses included! :) I love the silly, lovey times we share.

My precious boys, I hope as you grow up you remember our family meetings, our "circle time" as we call it, when we discuss the issues of the household. I hope you remember the discipline you have always received, and how God orders me to do that, to make you the men that you will become, and our nightly prayer and devotion time that always turns into wonderful honest talks about life. I hope you remember mommy giving you my all. Always stopping what I'm doing to listen to what you have to say. Our picnics in the living room, our "snacky Friday dinners", with platters of all your favorite healthy snacks, and most of all, I hope you remember all the love that I have poured over you, all the prayers that I have said over you, all the support given to you, my babies, and that mommy always put you first, ABOVE all.

I love you all, each in very special ways. You are my heart. My everything. God blessed me so much when He gave me each of you. I can't wait to see all the amazing plans that God has for each of you. You are going to do BIG THINGS for the kingdom of God. I love you with all my heart, always. Thank you for all the joy you bring to my life.

All My Love,
Mommy

Unbelievable Children's Book To Be Released Soon....

I am shocked, appalled, and almost speechless... I know the world has gotten out of hand, and there are a lot of unbelievable and ungodly things going on, but this one REALLY got to me.

There is a children's book that will be released soon By Adam Mansbach, called "Go The F**k To Sleep". This sounds unbelievable I know, but read the description and an excerpt from this book...

"When "nighty-night" or "hush, little baby" just aren't helping to lull your screaming baby to sleep, you may be tempted to take some cues from a new bedtime story, "Go the F@#k to Sleep".
It's a thought that has probably crossed the minds of many an exhausted parent at 3 a.m., when the wee one refuses shut eye. Now, novelist Adam Mansbach has put the idea to pen in his children's book "Go The F**k To Sleep".

From the Author...
"Hopefully, the book is very reflective of what we all feel putting our kids to bed," Mansbach says. "We all love our kids - It's not like we stop loving our kids - but as the minutes tick by, we'll do anything to get out of that room."

An excerpt from the book...
"The cats nestle close to their kittens.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear.
Please go the f@#k to sleep."

Another review...
"Boing Boing brings us this hilarious title of a children’s book and pretty honest...
“Go the F**k to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing off to dreamland. Honest, profane, and affectionate, Adam Mansbach’s verses and Ricardo Cortés’ illustrations perfectly capture the familiar and unspoken tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night, and open up a conversation about parenting in the process. Beautiful, subversive, and pants-wettingly funny."


This is probably one of the most disturbing things I have ever read! Believe it or not, there will be parents out there who think this is cute or funny, and will actually read this to their little ones! The world has become so corrupt in the times we live in, but this is unlike anything I have ever seen. This crosses the line, in so many ways, more than anything I have ever seen and is disgusting!
The story is composed as a four line poem on each page, every one ending with the line, "Please go the f**k to sleep"!

I pray that parents will be smart enough to not be so cruel as to subject their children not only to the horrible language and message of this book, but also the abuse they would be imposing on these little ones, who will get a message from their parents, "All I want is for you to go the f**k to sleep".

Our children need love and comfort from us, not the message that they are a burden on us. Yes, we all get frustrated when our children won't go to sleep but we don't show that frustration, especially with something like this book. We show them patience, love, comfort, and discipline, if necessary. But not this book. Not the message it sends, or the language it exposes them to. I am so saddened by this.

Love and Hugs,
Ginger xoxo

"Mommy.... I know it's bedtime, but can I ask you a question?"

As you know, I have four little boys. They are on a schedule, and go to bed at 7pm. Oh yes - 7pm! Ever since they were little babies. So, 6:30pm rolls around, teeth are brushed, clothes are picked out for the next morning, devotion time is done, and we pray together. Then I go around to each one, hug and kiss on them, tell them how much I love them, and pray again, over each one individually. Now it's 7pm.... "Momma time!" But as I am about to leave the room, there come the questions.... Questions about God, and life....

In my head... "Ohhh AGAIN! Stalling tactics at bedtime!" But I go back in, sit on one of their beds, and listen to their questions. A few nights ago it was, "Mommy, I've been wondering.... How did Jesus die? And how did He become alive again? If He's in Heaven, doesn't that mean He is dead, because dead people are in Heaven? I don't understand that part..." It's very rational, and much easier, to say "Boys... I just put you in bed.... Let's talk about this when it's NOT bedtime!" But as much as these are stall tactics, they are also important times, when I have their full attention. They are also times when memories are being made. Special times, of special talks, about things that at any other time, they might not open up about. They are hungry to know Jesus! And to spend time with momma.

So I plop back onto one of their beds, and the conversations begin... I explain the answers, which leads to more questions, honest, pure thoughts, that come flowing out of their mouths. And I have a captive audience, who wants to know more about Jesus, and talk about life - things that kids usually don't open up about in the middle of the day! Sometimes this can go on for over an hour! What could be a frustrating time of "Why are you not asleep!" Turns into precious conversations, quality time together, and memories being made. It's awesome to have your children open up to you. Bedtime or no bedtime - I CHERISH this time we spend together, just talking. We DO start our nightly devotion time a little earlier these days, so there is time to talk, but a lot of the time, they are still too wound up from the day, to be at ease, and let the honest thoughts flow out.

So I think my point is - whatever that time is, which will most likely be the most inconvenient time for us mommas, that your children want to talk... STOP - and LISTEN! Children, especially at the ages of my oldest two - 10 and 9 - don't always speak what's on their mind. So whenever they open up and decide to start talking, or asking questions - stop what you're doing and listen! And answer all their questions. Once they get talking, a lot of things can flow out from there. You've got a child, or children, open, receptive, and ready to open up, and to listen! Take full advantage of this precious time. They grow up so fast, and soon you'll be longing for those late night bedtime conversations! Enjoy every moment with your children. You are making memories that are WAY more precious than any "mommy time"! :)

Love and Blessings!

XOXO, Ginger

You Can't Take Someone Where You've Never Been!

Let's talk about going through hell! Let's talk about all the horrible, scary, and hard things we go through. Let's talk about the things that should have killed us, but God pulled us through, by His grace. Whether these things were our fault, the fault of someone else, or just thrown on us out of nowhere - They affect our lives greatly!

First, we have to get through those times. But what I'm speaking of is AFTER we've made it through. We may have fear in many areas, guilt that the devil likes to torture us with, memories of the past that come rushing back. How do we turn these bad situations around, that should have killed us, or that should have destroyed us, and use them to better us, glorify God, and to make an impact on someone else's life?

The things we go through in life, our hardest times, are the most important times in our lives. Yes, I wish I hadn't gone through a divorce, I wish I hadn't have made horrible mistakes in my past. That's where it gets tricky, because of course, we wish we hadn't had to go through horrible things, but those horrible things are the exact things, that MAKE us.

The trials we walk through have a PURPOSE in our lives. There is a purpose in the pain we go through. Troubled times, all the terrible things we face, that pressure and pain... FORMS SOMETHING ON THE INSIDE OF US. It molds us. It teaches us faith and trust in God. It teaches us not to rely on people, money, health, etc. But to rely on God. All of those other things can fall away in a heartbeat, but God promises never leave us or forsake us. When everything around us is falling apart, When there is no one, when we're left alone, when we don't know how we're going to make it through, the only place for us to turn to is to God! When we're going through those times, and the only thing we have the strength to do is lay on the floor, and cry out to God.... That develops something in us! That time is the most precious time we'll spend with God. That's when all is quiet, we're on the verge of losing our mind, and yet we are the most open to God, and the things He wants to tell us and form in us. Nothing gets developed or formed in us, without trials! We learn to trust in God, because honestly, at that time - there is nothing else to trust in! We learn faith, because we see that as we begin to trust, God begins to work in our lives, and our faith in God is strengthened. We learn to praise through the pain. Because now that we have our trust and our faith strengthened, we can praise through the hard times, knowing that God has us covered. No matter what the enemy throws at us, we praise Him in advance, for what we KNOW He's going to do! That is why the hardest times are so important. Things in us are formed that otherwise wouldn't have been. God uses the things the enemy meant for bad, for His good, forming things in us, changing us, teaching and molding us, so He can take us to the place He has for our lives, so we can fulfill the purpose He has for our us.

See... NOW, at this point, the devil's made a BIG mistake.... We've come out of the worst times of our lives. We made it through, with God, and along the way we have learned to keep going, and when we can't go any further, we've learned to just STAND, to stand even when we feel we can't. We stand. We've learned to have faith in God, to trust in God, and that He will stand with us, or if He needs to, carry us, through ANYTHING that comes our way. Not much can scare us now. We've faced the worst! We've learned to go through hell, all the while praising God. Nothing can take our praise, or our peace anymore. We are completely in tune with, and focused on, GOD, and the things of God. We've learned THE DEVIL IS A LIAR, he comes to steal, kill, and destroy. We can now go through things we don't understand, and instead of fear - there is peace.

When we make it through, after the trials, we now have a BOLDNESS! We have an ATTITUDE towards the devil, and what he throws at us. Oh boy - They devil is going to regret messing with ME! He sure did mess with the wrong girl! He should have killed me when he had the opportunity, because NOW I am not scared. I am STRENGTHENED, with a strength that God gives me! I almost laugh sometimes when the enemy throws things my way, especially when they all pile up at once, and I know the enemy is trying to get me to panic. I laugh because I know his tricks and his ploys, and they can't touch me! I am covered by Jesus, and no matter what He's got my back. I can now look back and say, "If He did it THEN, He'll do it NOW!" If God brought me through all the mess in the past - He WILL do it now too!

So yeah - The devil really messed up, in messing with me, because now I have a story to tell! A story that will take what the enemy meant to destroy me, and use it to save lives, and glorify God! Which brings me to the title of this blog! You can't take someone where you've never been! The enemy wants to keep us in bondage, embarrassed of our past, or afraid to speak out. He wants to shut us up, so we can't be free from our past, so the world won't know how amazing our God is, and so we can't help others! If we don't share our story, the world will never know God's glory! No one can help someone going through something, like someone who's been there. We can not stay bound by our past, and miss out on, first of all, the freedom that comes with telling our story, our testimony. We have to tell it! Tell it with our heads held high, and our hands in the air, giving God all the glory and praise for all He has brought us through. There are so many people going through so many things, who think they are alone. We, who have been through these things, need to be there to speak out, let them know they are not alone, that God does care, and there IS a way out, and an end, to what they are going through. We, who have been through things, and made it out to the glorious other side, have a responsibility to speak out, and help others, like someone who hasn't been there can not do, and to give God the glory all the while!

To sum it all up - The trials we face have a very important purpose, they MOLD and TEACH us! They teach us lessons that God wants us to learn. We gain trust, faith, and strength, in God. So that we can fulfill the plan He has for our lives. We are over comers, and in that we are to help others to overcome what they are facing. We can not stay silent, like the enemy would love for us to! We are to take our story and speak it, as God calls us to do! We can take someone from disaster, to healing. Because we've been there and come out of it stronger than ever! Praise God!

Love and Blessings!

XOXO,
Ginger

A Diagnosis For My Precious Tay Tay.....

Okay, so today was the day for the appointment with Taylor's rheumatologist in St. Pete, at All Children's Hospital. In attendance was me (of course!), ex-hubby, and my daddy. First, I want to thank my daddy for taking the time out of his very busy schedule, to be there to support Frank and I, and Taylor. And for being there to be a third voice, third ear to take in the information given, and to help us in making the tough decisions we had to make. I also want to thank ex-hubby for supporting me in the decision to take Taylor to a doctor so far away, making the drive for us, paying for the (expensive!) gas, and treating us to lunches each visit there. Thank you, momma and daddy, for supporting my "motherly instinct" that this was very serious, and that extreme, unrelenting measures needed to be taken, to protect my baby. I love you all so much.

The appointment began as usual, going over Taylor's case AGAIN, and the symptoms he was experiencing that kept him out of school all week last week. We went over what differentiates Acute Rheumatic Fever from Post Strep Reactive Arthritis. The answer was - not much! They both have the exact same symptoms in the beginning, making it almost impossible to give a child a 100% diagnosis of Acute Rheumatic Fever. The only way to know for sure, it to wait for the heart damage to occur, which is not an option! The thing is though, children with rheumatic fever receive treatment to, among other things, prevent heart damage. Well, children with Post Strep Reactive Arthritis are also at increased risk of heart damage, with subsequent strep infections! So either way - Either diagnosis - Treatment should be given! This was the information that I've known, and needed someone to realize.

Anyway, to continue.... Taylor has most all of the indicators of Rheumatic Fever, and with that fact, combined with the heart murmur, and minor heart valve damage that could be an indicator, they have diagnosed Taylor with Acute Rheumatic Fever. This is not a good thing, of course. There are worries. But there are worries with any serious diagnosis. What is important is that Taylor will now be receiving treatment, and will be protected. They have put him on Amoxicillin for 10 days, to make sure there is not any of the strep infection still present. After 10 days he will begin the RF treatment of a high dose of Penicillin. This can be given in pill form, twice a day or in monthly shots. This will continue for two to seven years, or possibly until he's 21. For now we have chosen the pill form, but we CAN NOT miss a pill, so we will see how it goes, and may switch to the shots, if we find that to be the best option. They also have him on a higher dose of Naproxin, twice a day, and a medication to protect his stomach from the daily Naproxin. So far the Naproxin has not touched his pain, but we'll try their recommendation of a higher dose, and if that doesn't control the pain, then we will have them switch him to a different medication.

I thank God so much for giving me the insight, from the beginning, of what this was, so I knew to push the doctors to take his case seriously, and not to listen to the horrible Dr. Pierre that "there was nothing else that could be done". I praise God that he protected my son through this 8 month process of finding a diagnosis, and that He gave the doctor wisdom to make tough decisions on a tough case. I praise God for Taylor being under HIS protection, and now being protected medically, as well. And I praise Him, in advance, for the healing that WILL begin to occur in Taylor's body and His continued cover over him. Thank you, Jesus!

Side note: Rheumatic fever is not contagious, but his brothers are at risk, because it is hereditary. I have to have a strep culture done on all of the boys, and I have to keep a close eye out for symptoms of RF in them. They can not share drinks, we have to be careful to keep toothbrushes separate, etc. But above all, God is in control, so I will be wise - but I will not live in fear.

Right now I finally feel comfort, peace, and confidence in the plan that has been set in place for Taylor. I pray peace over my son, to know that his pain WILL end, and this WILL eventually be over. There's a long road ahead of us, but God is walking it with us, guiding us, and strengthening us. Thank you so very much to all who have kept Taylor in your prayers, and all who continue to.

Love, Thanks, and Blessings,

Ginger xoxo

A Message From Taylor.....

Taylor does not like to be video taped, as you can tell by his nervousness, but he knows that he's being followed by many, and wanted to speak out on his condition, and how Jesus is going to heal him, in his own words.... My sweet boy, Momma loves you so much.... To the moon. xoxo

Update On Taylor.... So Many Unanswered Questions.

Today was my son Taylor's appointment with the cardiologist. He gave me some information that I was unaware of, but I left feeling like I had less answers than when I started.

When I got there the cardiologist had read over Tay's chart, and he came in and listened to me recount the events of the last 7 months. After hearing Taylor's story, and examining him - his swollen eyes, swollen finger and toe joints, rash under his arms, and severe pain in almost all of his joints, he said that he did not want to do the eccocardiogram. He said he would do it, because it had been requested by the rheumatologist, but that he was very afraid of the fact that the rheumatologist was basing Taylor's diagnosis on the results of the eccocardiogram. He said that he's an old/experienced doctor, and he HAS been involved in cases of Rheumatic Fever, and Taylor has all of the classic symptoms. He explained that Rheumatic Fever does not usually cause heart damage on the first occurrences - at the onset of the disease. It can - but does not usually. He said to base the diagnosis of RF on normal results of an eccocardiogram would be very unwise - which is what I, and he, understands the rhuematologist to be doing. He continued to explain that a child will have the onset of Rheumatic Fever, with the symptoms that Taylor is experiencing, and then the next time he's exposed to the strep virus, he will have another outbreak, for lack of better words, (I'm trying my best to remember the wording of the doctor!). Each time the child is exposed to the strep virus, if they are not on the Rheumatic Fever treatment of daily penicillin, they will have another outbreak. With each occurrence, or outbreak, the child is at risk for irreversible heart damage, leading eventually to heart failure, if not receiving treatment. It's not a matter of "if", it's a matter of "when". The irreversible heart damage WILL begin at some point, in an untreated child with RF. As soon as the heart damage begins, it WILL CONTINUE at that point, with each occurrence of RF. Once the damage has been done, it cannot be repaired, it is irreversible, and without treatment, it will continue to damage the heart, leading to - well the worst, which I won't even speak. (By the way - the eccocardiogram results were completely normal, as the cardiologist suspected they would be. He has a "harmless heart murmur" only, at this point.)

So.... Now I have quite a problem. First of all, whether anyone believes me or not, God revealed Rheumatic Fever to me, way back in the beginning, when Tay was having major hip pain and his ASO Titer was high (strep in his blood). No one would listen. The horrible Dr. Pierre, in Ocala, FL, got angry with me for questioning her when she told me "He's just resistant to the antibiotics. There's nothing we can do about that", and I finally got someone to take notice at All children's Hospital, 2 hours away from home. And now, I am going to go back for a follow up with the rheumatologist at ACH, and it's quite possible that he is going to look at Taylor's eccocardiogram results, and misdiagnose him, putting him at a huge risk for his life.

Again, I will say, VERY CLEARLY, that God has my son protected, and when all is said and done, he will be just fine. I know this. But I also have to be wise, and follow my motherly instincts, and God's direction that He has given me, and protect my child. I can't allow him to be misdiagnosed, just because this is a rare disease that a young rheumatologist is not familiar with. I can't let it get to the point of irreversible heart damage, before someone realizes they made a huge mistake.

So I am going to go to this follow up appointment and see what the doctor has to say. If he says it's nothing, and can't give me the exact reasons and FACTS that led him to that decision, than I will go to yet another doctor. I need to research if a rheumatologist is the right doctor to see for a second opinion on rheumatic fever. A rheumatologist is for rheumatoid arthritis - There might be another type of doctor that has more of a specialty, more knowledge, on rheumatic fever. I really don't know, I need to figure that part out.

Right now, I know that there is something terribly wrong with my son, that has him in daily pain, missing tons of school, and that has had a major impact on his quality of life, for almost 8 months now. I need answers, with facts and reasons to back them up, not guessing games. To hear my son tell me, "Mommy, I just want this pain to stop. I'm in pain every single day, and I just want to know WHY I'm in this pain, mommy", it just breaks my heart.

Taylor has a call of God on His life. God has amazing plans for this little boy. And with a big call, comes big attacks from the enemy. This will be part of Taylor's testimony, his struggle he went through at age 9, that God walked him through, holding his hand the whole way, and laying in the MRI machine with him. :) Taylor and I KNOW that God has angels around him, protecting him. We KNOW that there WILL be answers, and there WILL be an end to this. Right now, we have no answers. But in the words of Taylor, "God doesn't do things right away most of the time, right mommy? Sometimes He wants us to go through something, so we can learn to trust him, and learn to be strong and know that He will protect us. But then He does miracles! God is going to do a miracle for ME, mommy!" Tayor is exactly right. Preach it, my sweet boy!

Please keep Taylor in your prayers. And his momma too. This is really hard on a mother. But all I have to do is look back at the past, and see all the miracles God has done in my life, all the things He has brought me through, and I know that without a doubt - IF HE DID IT THEN, HE'LL DO IT NOW! God will never leave us, nor forsake us.... He promises us that.

Love and thanks to all, for your support and prayers.

XOXO,

Ginger

Taylor Michael.... My Son, My Hero.

Today is not a happy day for me. It's a sad, scary, heart wrenching day. Today was our 9 year old, Taylor's, doctor appointment with his specialist. Specialist for what, you ask? Well, I wish I knew. This was a pediatric rheumatologist that we saw today, but we, and he, do not know what Taylor has. Here's the story.... (Some of you know the beginning, which will be a repeat for you, but it will lead up to today's visit.

Taylor had strep throat in July of 2010, which was treated with antibiotics. He did not get any better, so they put him on another round of antibiotics. The symptoms went away, and we assumed that he was better. A couple weeks after that, Taylor started having major hip pain - some days he couldn't walk at all, and had to be carried even to go to the bathroom. This went on for about a month, off and on, with others telling me I was overreacting, and it was only growing pains. Finally I took him to the doctor, and they had no idea what was going on. They did blood tests, and found that he had strep in his blood. That apparently the strep virus that "went away", went into his bloodstream. They also sent him for an MRI of his hip, in which resulted in a discovery that there was fluid around his hip joint, that "may or may not" be infected. They put him on antibiotics, yet again, for the strep in his bloodstream, and after another blood test, where his strep levels stayed the same, we were told, "He must be resistant to the antibiotics. There's nothing else we can do." Oh yes, the DOCTOR actually said that to me! My child that was missing school because he couldn't walk. And had strep in his bloodstream (which is very dangerous, by the way)! This was Dr. Pierre at Marion Pediatrics, Ocala, FL. I got rave reviews from MANY before taking him to her, and many love her. I can not stand this woman. That's really the nicest way I can put it! When I questioned her actions of "nothing else we can do", she completely washed her hands of Taylor's case.

I had gone long enough with the conservative approach, and was now taking the aggressive approach. I knew that strep accompanied with rheumatoid symptoms can be something very serious. There are many things it could be. Rheumatic Fever, being one of them, which we will get into in a minute. See, I KNOW, and I knew, when I asked horrible Dr. Pierre for help, that this was a possibility, as well as many other diseases, complications, and/or irreversible damage. So, I took my little boy, drove him to the best children's hospital that I could find, All Children's Hospital, in St. Pete, and hobbled him right into the emergency room there, and said, "I need HELP!" They took us right back, listened to my LONG story, evaluated him, and got Tay right in with their pediatric rheumatologist. He of course was very concerned. It wasn't the strep in the blood, it wasn't the rheumatoid symptoms - It was BOTH put together. He ordered another blood panel, a lime disease test, and put him on Naproxin. The blood panel showed the same strep level as before, a little raised, and negative for lime disease. He then found that Taylor had a heart murmur, which could be a "harmless murmur", or not. He sent us to have an eccocardiogram done. He told us to keep him on the Naproxin until the end of December, than take him off of it, and see how he does....

Now Taylor is a child of incredible faith. He told the doctor once, "It's Ok. I know God is going to heal me." Just as matter of fact as if he was saying "I know that the sky is blue!" :) When he had his MRI done, he came out, and the doctor asked him if he was ok. His answer, "It was great! I wasn't scared at all. Jesus was in there with me. He made me feel so happy and peaceful that I fell asleep!" And during one of his blood draws, the nurse asked if he was Ok.... Tay's response, "I'm fine. God takes my fear away. I think He also takes the pain away, because I don't feel anything except the rubber band on my arm. I'm fine, God's here." I'm telling you, this child has more faith than anyone that I know! He's an inspiration to me, and all that come in contact with him. He is also an incredible prayer warrior. If I, his brothers, or anyone has a need, he's the first to lay hands on them and pray. His Mimi was sick, and he called her into the bathroom and asked if he could pray over her and anoint her with oil. He explained how it says in the Bible that when you anoint with oil it "calls all the angels to come all around you and help and protect you". I say all of that to say that that Taylor and I both KNEW he would be healed. We didn't know what was wrong still, but we knew God would heal him.

Nearing the end of December, the 21st I believe, he woke up and told me he had been healed - he was no longer in pain! What a miracle for him to see, and to be able to tell others. His testimony, at age 9! :) He went two months with no pain! Life as normal! Finally!

A couple of weeks ago, his older brother came down with strep throat. It was treated, and he was fine in a couple of days. Taylor, on the other hand, did not come down with strep throat, nor did any of the other boys, but Taylor started complaining of pain in his legs, than his hip, thumbs, knees, ankles, and toes. I got a call from school a few days later, that he was in pain and couldn't walk. I had to carry him out of school. We had an appointment coming up with his specialist at All Children's in St. Pete, so I called and upped the appointment, and here we are at today's events....

Our first question, after telling them the recent events of Tay's pain was, "We never got a call regarding the eccocardiogram results. They came back normal I assume?" I was stupid, I guess. We never got a call, and when I questioned ex-hubby about it, he said that if there was a problem with a child's heart, than they would have called, and even if the doctor's office didn't call, the cardiologist surely would, and I agreed - that sounded logical. Stupid me. The doctor looked at the chart and said, "Uh.... We never received any results from his eccocardiogram......." Than they visibly freaked out a little and excused themselves from the room to get the cardiologist on the phone and get the results faxed over. The findings were "minor heart valve damage". (Which if anyone remembers is the EXACT thing I had been asking the horrible Dr. Pierre, here in Ocala, about - and was turned away.) Now 2 months have gone by, and who knows the extent of the damage now?!? How could a pediatric cardiologist not call us about these results? Or at least send them to the doctor? Anyway, most signs lead them to a diagnosis of rheumatic fever. (What I have questioned everyone about from the beginning! Mothers - NEVER ignore your motherly instincts, no matter how overprotective others say you are.)

Keep in mind that I AM NOT speaking rheumatic fever over my son! I have a Great Big God, who has Angels surrounding that child. But I will tell you the facts of rheumatic fever....

Rheumatic Fever is an inflammatory disease that can develop as a complication of strep throat. It is most common in 5 - 15 year old children. Although it is rare in the US, it does remain as a risk not to be taken lightly. It can cause permanent damage to the heart, including heart valves and heart failure. Treatment consists of many things, one of which is daily shots for seven years, in an attempt to reduce tissue damage, inflammation, lessen pain and other symptoms, and try to prevent the recurrence of rheumatic fever.

Since Rheumatic Fever is caused by strep, resistant to antibiotics, and the main symptoms are rheumatoid arthritis symptoms (pain in the joints), damage to the heart, swollen joints, a rash that doesn't itch (which is under his arms), swollen glands, and jerky leg movements (not being able to keep his legs still), which Taylor has all of, they are finally taking his case seriously. They have a rush on another eccocardiogram, this coming week. That will lead us toward a diagnosis. It seems they have narrowed it down to the worst, or nothing at all. Either they will diagnose him with rheumatic fever (which I, In The Name Of Jesus, declare he WILL NOT HAVE), or they will diagnose him with "post strep rheumatoid arthritis". Basically, if he is exposed to the strep infection, like his brother just got, he will show rheumatoid arthritis symptoms, than they will slowly just go away. That's what we left the office in St. Pete having learned today.

Please keep my precious Taylor in your prayers. Whatever the diagnosis, WE BELIEVE - WE KNOW - He will be HEALED! This will be a testimony for him to tell, to bring others to the Lord. I speak healing over my son, and I believe he will be just fine.

I wanted to update everyone on what was going on. In the natural, mommy is scared. But I know that what we see with our eyes, is not what God sees - It's not what He has planned. Taylor has a call on his life, and with a call, comes a fight. Taylor is in a fight. And he will come out unharmed, giving all the glory to God! Taylor is a threat to the enemy, even at age 9! The enemy wants to stop the amazing things God has in store for his future, all the people he will bring to God. Good luck with that. My boy, and his mommy, serve a Big Mighty God, who has our backs!

Love and thanks to all! And in the words of Taylor, "It's OK! God called angels all around me, to protect me. I have faith I'm healed - inside and out - from my head to my toes!"

XOXO,
Ginger

Our Family....

My Boys And I.....

It's Been A While....

It's been a while since my last post. I heard something on the radio yesterday, from one of the "morning crew", on the christian radio station that I listen to. He blogs also. But he said that he doesn't blog near as often as he'd like, becuase he wants his posts to be PERFECT, and if he doesn't have the time to write, what he finds to be a perfect post, than he'd rather not write at all that day. He said that he had recently learned that not every post has to be fully researched, and competely perfect. I suffer from exactly the same thoughts! So from now on, I am going to write when I want to write. There are so many times that I feel I have something important to say, but think I don't have the time to get it out into writing, perfectly. Today that changes! Expect some imperfect posts, but consistant posts! Love and Blessings to all! XOXO

Let Us Not Become Weary In Doing Good...

We go through many "seasons", or phases, in our lives. It would be nice if we didn't have to go through the tough ones, but the tough seasons in our lives are what allow us to grow... As a person, and in our relationship with God. Those tough times are when we learn very valuable lessons. We learn to pray, and we learn that God answers our prayers. We learn to put all of our trust in God, put all our problems and worries in His hands, and learn to have faith that He will get us through them, that He can, and will, work miracles. "But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one." 2 Thessalonians 3:3
We learn that when all seems hopeless, and it seems everyone, and everything is working against us, that God will rescue us. We can't learn these things unless we face hard times, learn to lean on God, and watch Him work in our lives.
What is important to know, is that there ARE things that WE need to do also. We need to remain faithful to God, have a close relationship with Him, pray, read our Bible, and stay true to things it says. We have to remain obedient to God. Basically, we do our part, our very best, and He will pick up there, and do the rest.
Seem like lots of work, changes in your life, and a step of faith? Well, it is! But the rewards you will reap are amazing! "The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him." Nahum 1:7 "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. You may grow tired and weary, and stumble and fall. But for those who trust in the Lord, He will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:29-31
We all go through hard times in our lives, difficult seasons that seem like they are never, ever going to change. But if we are living our life obedient and faithful to God, and doing our part, by staying strong and positive through it all, we can have complete faith, that God WILL turn it around. We also have to have patience. God doesn't change a situation, or move us into our new season in OUR timing - He does it in his perfect timing. We may grow weary, and think it is never going to happen, that things are never going to turn around and get better. But you have no idea of God's plans. Stay strong, faithful, and patient, and you never know... Your breakthrough could be right around the corner! Don't give up! If you do you will miss out on all the blessings and wonderful plans that God has in store for you. "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time, we will reap a great harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9
The most difficult seasons of my life, have become the most important and most pivotal times in my life. These times taught me so many valuable lessons. They taught me to give every problem or fear over to God, and that He CAN and WILL handle it all, and will keep me safe, and care for all my needs. Now, when troubling times come, I can look back at all He has brought me through, and know, without a doubt, that if He brought me through it THEN... He will bring me through it this time too, and every time after that. "It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you, He will never leave you or forsake you. Do not fear, or be dismayed." Deuteronomy 31:8
Don't give up during your difficult seasons, or you will miss out on the beautiful season to come.
"Happiness keeps you SWEET. Trials keep you STRONG. Failures keep you HUMBLE. Success keeps you GROWING. But only God keeps you GOING."
Keep your eyes on God, trust in Him, and wait, with patience, and see all that He has in store for your life! XOXO!

Thoughts On Turning 30....

Turning 30...
Wow... How in the world am I 30 already! Time sure does fly! I would be okay with the big 30, except for the fact that I am not at all in the place in my life that I thought I would be in at 30... If someone would have told me when I was 25, a housewife, with a nearly perfect marriage, and four beautiful little boys, that I would go into my 30's a single momma, with my marriage of 10 years having failed, and I would be working towards starting a career, and would be supporting my family, on my own.... I would have laughed, and said they were CRAZY! But this is how I find myself at 30... Which is what made turning 30 pretty hard.
Of course, that's on the outside... On the inside, I have learned a lot in my 30 years, and through the mistakes of the past, a failed marriage, etc. I have grown into a strong, confident, wise, stronger woman of God. I have successfully managed to provide for myself and the boys on my own. I have a great job, and will soon have my Certified Nursing Assistant license. I have learned that I don't need a man in my life to be happy. That was a BIG lesson that I had to learn! I learned that you have to create your own happiness, within yourself, not rely on someone else to make you happy. That leads to getting let down - big time. Never count on someone else to provide your happiness, let your happiness come from within you, and the happiness and peace that God gives.
I have learned so much through the mistakes I have made. I have definitely used them as learning experiences, and used them to make lots of changes in my life, and within myself. I have become very confident in my strengths and abilities, and confident within myself. I have learned to fully trust God, in EVERYTHING. He has never let me down! My mistakes, and learning through each and every one of them, have made me a better christian, a better mother, and a better person.
I am definitely not where I thought I would be at 30... But I also know that God has great plans in store for this new phase in my life, and I am working very hard to accomplish all the goals that I have set for myself. And with God's help, I WILL accomplish them ALL!
So... here's to turning 30, and becoming a new and improved ME! :) XOXO!

Mother's Day....

OK, so I'm a little late on the Mother's Day post! That goes to show ya how much free time a momma has!
Mother's Day.... Well, being a single momma, gone are the days of sleeping in, and daddy taking over all of the responsibility for the day! I got woken up at 6am to, "Happy Mother's Day, Mommy! Oh... mommy, I peed in my bed...." Nice....!
I made the boys pancakes, and refereed some fights. Than I took a shower in record time, because of banging and crying at my door! I got us all packed up, to go to Tampa, to spend the rest of the day with MY MOMMA, and made the drive, which was mostly peaceful! My time with my mom was SO GREAT. We had an amazing day, precious time together as a family, and the kids behaved very well. They all made me and their Mimi, (my mom), sweet cards and letters. One of the boys, my 8 year old, wrote a letter that said, "I love you so much, with my Godly heart", it was so precious!
In all of the responsibility, crying, fighting, etc., we sometimes forget how blessed we are to be a mother. We have had these precious lives placed in our hands, to teach, mold, guide, care for, and give unconditional love to. Each and every moment with our children, is a precious gift. Sometimes, especially as single mothers (or single fathers), we get so caught up in the everyday "grind", that we don't take the time to stop, and just ENJOY our children... Enjoy being a parent. "Hurry up and eat your dinner..." "Come on, get in the bath... No I said get in the bath now!" "Let's go... bedtime..." "You didn't do your HOMEWORK! Get over here, and get it done, it's BEDTIME!" (At my house, we have from 5:30, which is when we get home from work/daycare, til 7:00, which is bedtime. Not a lot of time there!) We need to make sure that with all the responsibility, and for single parents, lack of time at night, etc., that we take the time to have some fun, and enjoy the precious moments with our children, even if just for 15 minutes a night. Have a little fun, or quality time. Plan something special each weekend. Enjoy this precious time, which passes way to fast. We won't have these young years with them forever... Cherish each and every second. ENJOY being a mom... Enjoy your children, even in the stressful or trying times.
I love my boys so much. I am so blessed to be their mother. I feel so honored that God trusted ME, with these precious lives. I work hard, everyday, to do my very best as a mother to them, and as a person, to be a good example for them to follow. My boys are my most precious gift...
On another subject, it had been way too long since I had seen my mother, before Mother's Day. Life moves fast, there is so much going on to keep up with... the kids, work, and running a household on my own. But always make sure you take time out of your schedule, no matter what, to spend time with your loved ones.
I love you, my precious baby boys. Thank you for always trying your best, loving God, and being the best sons a mother could ever ask for. To my momma... I love you, my wonderful mom. Thank you for always loving me, unconditionally, being an awesome mother, and an example to me of how a mother should love and cherish her children.
Happy (late) Mother's Day! XOXO

What You Put In, Is What You'll Get Out....

This subject is on a personal decision that everyone has to make for themselves....
Is is wrong to watch that movie with questionable scenes in it? Is is wrong to listen to the music you listen to? Is it wrong to watch those reality shows on MTV, that you love? (OK... I was talking about myself there!! I love those shows!) Is it wrong to hang out with the friends that you do? How about drinking? Is it wrong to drink, and how much drinking is acceptable? Sex... We all know that sex before marriage is wrong, but what about other sexual things? Where do you draw the line on right and wrong?
These are questions that only you can answer for yourself, based on your convictions, and what these things produce in your life.
What I have come to learn, and this is only MY opinion, is that some of these things aren't wrong, in themselves... I don't believe that I'm going to hell, because I spend a lazy day on Saturday, watching reruns of the reality shows on MTV. But the question is, what do these things produce in your life? Do they bring you closer to God? Do they keep you encouraged, when you're having a hard day? Do they help you in making the right decisions? Some of these things, again, in my opinion, aren't necessarily sins, but they don't help you towards your goal, of staying on the path God has for you. What I mean by this is spending your free time in the Bible, in church, listening to church service CD's or christian music in the car, is putting good things in, that keep your focus on God. Than when you face a hard time, a decision you have to make, a temptation, you are already built up, and filled with the things of God, and can draw from the good, positive things you have put in. Having spent your drive to work listening to Lil Wayne (my temptation!), is not going to help you, when you all of the sudden are having a bad day at work! On the other hand, if you had spent that drive to work listening to your favorite pastor speak, you'll have the strength and peace of the word of God to draw from, when facing that hard day. Does that make sense?
Watching a movie with a question scene in it... How will putting that into your mind effect how you will handle the temptations of staying pure, sexually? Having friends that aren't christians, is not a sin... But the amount of time you spend around those that don't believe as you do, you're eventually going to fall into the place where you start to become numb to the characteristics of these friends, and start to maybe compromise your values, little by little. What you surround yourself with, is what you will eventually become.
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8
It's not "wrong" to listen to a song on the radio, or a show on TV, etc. But just watch out for what you put into your mind, on a constant, daily basis. Try to surround yourself with things that are good, and pure, and help you to stay positive, at peace, and strengthened, because life is hard. There is a constant fight going on, to bring you down, and keep you down. Filling yourself with the things of God will give you weapons to pull from, when fighting this fight. Just something to think about! XOXO!

So You've Made A Mistake.... What Next?

I have addressed the subject of mistakes earlier in my blog, but I wanted to come at it from a different angle this time...

Mistakes... We all make them. I have made many of them! When we make mistakes, we sometimes, or often, get into a "stuck" place. What I mean by this, is that we don't know what to do next, we feel guilty, we are upset we have made yet, another mistake. What usually happens, is that we seem to separate ourselves from God. We feel guilty, and know we have done something to disappoint Him, and so we kind of disconnect from God. Not turn away from him necessarily, just disconnect. Sometimes we just don't know what to do next... How to redeem ourselves. So we close ourselves off from God, maybe a little, maybe a lot.
From experience... It is really a lot simpler than we make it out to be. We never have to turn away from God. He loves us. Tune into Him, instead of tuning Him out. Realize your mistake, and ask forgiveness from God. Take responsibility for your mistake, and if there is a deeper root, to why this mistake was made, figure that out, and work to change it. Spend time with God, reading His word, praying for strength, peace, and help, to not repeat your mistakes. The more you tune in to God, and focus on Him, and the things that glorify Him, the more you will yearn to be like Him, and do things that will please Him.
Prayer is our communication with God. I pray ALL DAY! Keeping the lines of communication open between you and God, will help you in your decision making, hopefully avoiding future mistakes, or bad decisions. If you've made as many mistakes as I have in my life, you'll eventually start to catch yourself, before making a bad decision. And if you're tuned in to God, and have a close relationship with Him, you will get that "uneasy feeling", telling you, "That is not such a good idea!" Always listen to this feeling! When you ignore it, and make a mistake, you will feel really stupid, for lack of better words, knowing that God warned you, and you didn't listen! So always keep your ears open to hear God... He does speak to you!
Mistakes are all a part of life. It's how we learn, and how we grow, as a person, and in our relationship with Him. Just make sure you don't turn away from God, turn TO Him, and learn from each and every one of your mistakes. XOXO!

It's All Going To Be Ok!

Lately, I have come in contact with SO MANY people, who are unhappy with their lives, and the situations they are in, or are going through hard times, and are really "down". This is a really hard place to be in. I know that "dark" place.
What I have learned to do, is to stay one step ahead of the enemy, who is going to try his best, to get you into that dark place... Whether it's reminding you of your past, and how you don't deserve to be happy, trying to make you hold on to guilt, from past decisions, and mistakes you've made, trying to convince you that your situation is hopeless, and you're never going to make it through, giving you a feeling like you are stuck, and never going to see the light at the end of the tunnel, or that you simply can't accomplish, whatever it is, that you are trying to accomplish... Just to name a few! I have learned to know that these thoughts are going to creep into my mind, and try to take me down, distracting me from focusing on what my goals are, and staying on the path God has for my life. If I can catch them when they first start to creep in, and have a plan of attack when they do, I can avoid getting stuck in the enemy's traps. I can overcome the lies of the enemy.
It is so hard to feel the things I listed above. If you dwell on these feelings, it can really be dangerous. Dangerous to your relationship with God, to you're ability to live life, work, take care of your children, etc. It can put you in a place where you become stuck in this deep hole, desperately wanting to get out of it, but not having any idea how. First, know that there IS hope! "But in my distress I cried out to the LORD; Yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from His sanctuary; my cry reached His ears." Psalm 18:8 "Don't be afraid, for I am with you, Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand...I am holding you by your right hand. I, the LORD your God. And I say to you, "Do not be afraid. I am here to help you. Despised though you are, don't be afraid, for I will help you. I am the LORD, your Redeemer. I am the Holy One." Isaiah 41:10-14
First thing, PRAY... Give all of your troubles, fears, guilt, and feelings of hopelessness over to God. Than LEAVE THEM THERE! That's the hard part, leaving it all there, in God's hands, and TRUSTING that He will do what He promises... take care of you... "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all things will be added to you." Matthew 6:33
After praying, leaving your troubles with God, and trusting in Him to take care of you, the next step is to be prepared for these feelings to creep in again! They creep up in me all the time. My strategy... Go directly to the Bible, and read, read, read! I read, pray, and spend time with God, reminding myself, that He has my worries covered. Than put it out of your mind, and move on, pressing forward toward your goals. I used to think that "putting it out of my mind" was just going into denial about my problems. Denial used to be my strategy, in the past, when facing hard times. But then I realized that I was no longer going into denial mode, I was simply putting my faith and trust in God, and letting Him work in my life. Not worrying, shows your faith in God.
The last thing... Do your very best, try your hardest, and continue to press forward and stay on the path God has for your life, and He WILL do all the rest! We work hard, have faith, and God picks up there... Working everything for good, to those who love and have faith in Him.
Times are hard, it seems for a lot of people right now, myself included, but if we learn how to handle these difficult times, have a plan of attack, for when those thoughts of hopelessness creep in, and work our hardest to overcome them, God will be there holding our hand, leading us to the place that He has for our lives... And we will have come out of these times, having learned so many valuable lessons, about life, ourselves, and God's faithfulness in times of trouble.
Bottom line... It's all going to be OK! XOXO!

It's Our Responsibility, As Parents....

Wow... The world sure is changing. We, as parents, have to open our eyes, and pay attention to this fact, and make sure we aren't being naive, or even worse, in denial.
The big story in the news... A 13 year old boy, arrested for selling cocaine, marijuana, and ground up pills, to students at his middle school! This had apparently been going on for quite some time, before he got caught. A local radio station had middle school students call in to the radio station yesterday, not give their names, or the school they went to, but tell us what they see going on in their middle schools. The info from these students was shocking. They spoke very matter of factly, all of them saying that yes, there are drug dealers, who are students at their school, yes, they knew who they were, yes, it was easy to get just about any kind of drug that you want, AT SCHOOL, and yes, a lot of their friends did drugs - at school! They were asked if they knew where the students get these drugs, they said "from larger drug dealers", but also said that a lot of people they know, got them from their parents, and some do drugs WITH their parents, and have friends over who participate with them! They said it is common to see someone at school doing drugs, and that the peer pressure is very high to participate. These were not answers from ONE student, who just goes to a bad school, this was call after call, of about 20 students, from different schools in the area, all saying basically the same things.
We HAVE to keep ourselves informed on what is going on these days, and what our children are being exposed to, at such an early age. If we are not aware, and informed, how can we educate our children? It is our responsibility, as parents, to know what our children are doing, what is going on at school and in their lives, and to educate them on how to handle these things, when faced with it. One of the other subjects I've heard addressed lately, is sex in school bathrooms, sexual acts on the school bus, and children having sex at age 11! We can't pretend that these things aren't going on. We have to have open conversations with our children, even if it's an uncomfortable subject. Once the lines of communication are open, they will feel more comfortable coming to you with things that they may have not felt comfortable discussing before. We are responsible for teaching, guiding, and molding our children. It's no one else's responsibility but ours. We can't let the things of the "world" mold them, we have to take whatever steps necessary to not just protect them from these things, but inform them. We can't keep them in a little bubble forever... They have to know what's out there, and what to do when faced with it. We have to inform them BEFORE they come in contact with these things, tell them how to handle these situations, and explain WHY they should be handled that way. Our children need to have a plan of attack, BEFORE they are faced with these things, so that when they are, they will know what to do. We need to stay in constant communication with our children, and be involved their lives. Don't assume, "that won't happen to my child". The "that won't happen to me" mentality, is pure denial!
We have a huge responsibility as parents, we have precious lives in our hands. Maybe if parents start stepping up, there will be less stories like this. And just a side note... Pray, pray, pray, for your children... Everyday! There is nothing like the prayers of a parent, for their child. XOXO!

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff!

We have to stop sweating the small stuff... We let so many things effect our day, our lives, and our happiness. We need to get in the habit of starting our day in faith, that we are going to have a happy, great day!
We lose our peace so quickly, over such minor things... Someone cuts you off while driving, someone isn't so nice to you, you're running late, and your car won't start, your child spilled their juice on the carpet... things just aren't going your way... Don't lose your peace over minor things, inconveniences, or other people. When you let yourself allow those things to effect you, and steal your peace, it takes your mind off of God... Off of the will of God for your life. You start to become "out of tune" with God.
Something I heard recently... Categorize your problems. Is this a 5 minute, 5 hour, or 5 year problem? If you think it through, and categorize your problems, you'll find that most of them are small, 5 minute, or 5 hour problems, that won't matter tomorrow.
Problems, frustrations, and inconveniences WILL happen! Pray that God will give you strength to handle them, and peace that only He can give, even through your troubles. "The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him." Exodus 15:2. "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect." 2 Samuel 22:33.
There WILL be challenges, heartache, and situations, that we cannot control. When we look at the big picture, and keep our eyes on the big picture - the will of God for our lives - we will not worry about situations, and blow them out of proportion. God orders all of our steps. “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:2. So things aren't working out your way... Big deal! Categorize the problem, realize that in the long term, this really doesn't matter. Move past it, focus on God, and walking in the path He has for your life. Don't let minor inconveniences distract you from your main goal - to press forward, on the path God has for you... to the plan He has for your life. Give it over to God, and feel the release, freedom, and peace, that only He can give.
No matter what comes your way, if you put it in God's very capable hands, and do not dwell on it, you will have the peace, and clear mind, to focus on the big picture - fulfilling the will of God for your life. That's what it's all about, isn't it? Our purpose for being here? Don't let minor things - or even the big things, for that matter, distract you from your goal, and your purpose in life! XOXO!

From Housewife... To Divorce... To Successful!

This might not be the most interesting post, but necessary, to know a little bit about where I have been, to make sense of the posts that will follow! :)

I got married to my now ex-husband, in 1998, when I was 18. We had our first child pretty quickly... A little boy. We decided 6 months later, that it was time for the next baby! So when our little one was 15 months old, I gave birth to our second son. Soon to follow, in the next 2 1/2 years, were our third, and forth son! Yup! Four little boys! And all planned! People like to assume that we were irresponsible with birth control, or that we "kept going" to try for a girl... Nope! We planned all four, and are so blessed to have them.
I was a stay at home mom, from the time my first child was born. I was SO blessed to be able to be at home with them. My husband worked very hard, to allow me to do that. That time is so important, for them to be able to stay home with their mother. I loved every minute of it. I was as close I could get, to the "perfect housewife"... Making homemade baby food, cooking, keeping the house clean (or as clean as I could, with children!), "homeschooling" them as soon as they could speak, and caring for my husband and children. I LOVED it! It was everything I had ever dreamed of for my life.
My husband and I were very happy, and we had a wonderful marriage. A wonderful family. Through a series of events (which I will explain at some point, when I'm comfortable), things started to fall apart about 8 years into our marriage. We got divorced just short of our 10 year anniversary. (The events surrounding the divorce are, again, something I will explain when comfortable doing so.)
So skip to post divorce... I now find myself alone, and needing a job, which was quite scary after being a housewife my whole adult life! What made the most sense, and was the quickest option, was going back to Publix, where I worked before I was married. Through a total miracle, I got hired very quickly by Publix, and FULL TIME... Which is nearly impossible, to walk in off the street and get. I stayed with my parents for 6 months or so, while I worked, and saved, to be able to get on my feet, and be able to support myself and the boys. And I did it! God provided me with a beautiful apartment, and even things to fill it with! What a great feeling of accomplishment that was!
Currently, on the subject of career... I am still at Publix. I have gone to school to become a Certified Nursing Assistant, and have passed the written exam, and will be taking the clinical exam soon! I want to work at a nursing home. I think, well I KNOW, that there is such a need in that area. I think I could really make a difference in the lives of the people there, and it's something that's always been on my heart to do. So I'm excited about this next chapter in my life.
So, single mama... Working hard to provide for my family, my precious boys and I. Starting another chapter in my life. I have goals in place, things I want to accomplish, and WILL! I am a strong, independent, confident woman. I stay in a close relationship with God, and He guides me through my days, and along the path He has for my life. Without Him, I couldn't have accomplished the things I have, and I wouldn't have the peace and confidence to know that I WILL accomplish all that I have yet to accomplish! All in all... Life is good. Looking ahead to the future now... XOXO!

Mistakes... How to make them worth something!

I guess the way I'll end up doing this, is to post about my journey, currently going on in my life, and words of wisdom, that God has revealed to me through the years. And sprinkled throughout, will be posts that are a look into my past, my journey through that, and finally coming out the other side...

Mistakes... We ALL make them! Some worse than others... Unfortunately, it seems that for me to learn a lesson, God has to drop a brick on my head most of the time! Although, with all the mistakes I have made in the past, I am pretty quick to recognize when I have made a mistake now, and correct it quickly. Or sometimes, thank God, I can catch myself now, before I make a mistake.
Mistakes are never good, happy, or something we would choose to do, if we had a flash forward into the future! But they do happen, and sometimes we mess up bad. I know that I have. Some things I can say about that are, first of all, God is so good. He forgives, He redeems, and He restores. Second, it's what you do with the knowledge you have learned from your mistakes that makes all the difference. The only way to make your mistakes worth something, is to LEARN from them. If you don't, you will keep repeating the same mistakes, until you finally do learn! Take your mistakes, and turn them into learning and growing experiences. Experiences that will help you to learn lessons that will make you grow as a person, and make you stronger, within yourself and your relationship with God, and just wiser, in general. This will turn something that was meant for bad, into something good. Turn what was going to be a stumbling block, into a stepping stone, taking you into the place in your life that you are meant to be in, and help you to become the person you are meant to be.
Use your mistakes for good also, by sharing them. Share with people going through the same thing, who might feel stuck, like they are never going to be able to pull themselves out of the pit they are in. Share your mistakes, your journey, and your testimony of being able to make it through. And not just make it through, but come out strong, confident, and a better person than you were before. No one can help someone going through a situation, like someone who's been there!
There are so many lessons I have learned through my journey, which I will continue to share more of, in time. But the most important thing I can say on the subject of mistakes, is learn from them, use them to make you the person you are meant to be. To take you to the destiny that God has for you, His will for your life, and DON'T repeat them! That makes even the worst mistakes, mean something! "And we know that in all things, God works for the good, for those who love him." Romans 8:28 XOXO!

Is it possible to have peace, in bad circumstances?

Is it possible to have complete peace, when you are facing bad circumstances?
People look for peace in all kinds of places... money, other people, relationships, sex, etc. People look for peace in their circumstances. "If I get this job, I'll have more money, that will bring me peace..." "As long as I have this relationship, I'll have peace..." And the list goes on, and on. Circumstances, are not where you will find peace, it's where you will lose it. As long as you rely on your circumstances to bring you peace, you are never going to find it, or it won't be a lasting peace.
The answer to a true, and lasting peace, is through Jesus. "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me." John 14:1 "The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace." Psalm 29:11.
There is a difference in peace in God, and peace with God. If you want to have peace in God, you must first make peace with God. Sin separates us from God. "Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear." Isaiah 59:1-2. The conditions of being separated from God are that you are not under his covering, you are separated from Him. If you are going to have continuing peace in God, you first have to make peace with God.
What is it, in your life, that is keeping you from being "one with God"? If you don't have peace, than there is SOMETHING in your life that is separating you from God, keeping that peace away. Being "one with God" = Walking in agreement with the will of God for your life, and the word of the Lord.
Once you have made peace with God, removed sin from your life, and are a forgiven child of God, you are under His covering. Where you can experience an everlasting peace that the world can't give.
Peace with God is a one time decision... Peace in God, is a continued decision. One that you choose daily, to either let your circumstances take your peace, or to have trust and faith in God that He has got those circumstances in His hands. You can't control your circumstances... You can control whether or not you receive the peace of God. "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God." Romans 5:1-2
Without God, how are you going to find a continuous peace? Try to control your circumstances? You have no control over circumstances. When you give your life, and your circumstances, over to God, He gives you perfect peace.
God doesn't promise that things will always go our way. He does promise that because He is in you, no matter what happens, or how bad things look, that He will give you a peace, and strength to handle it. He will remind you that whatever is going on, that it will turn out for good, and that He will bring you through it. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28. Trust in Him, to do what He says He will do. Get your focus on the source of peace, not the source of your frustration, sadness, or worries.
Our responsibilities... To get right with God. To make a daily decision to walk in the truth of His word, yield to Him, and remain on the path He has for our lives. Get our focus right... On God - He is your peace. Claim what is yours.
It may not be easy... But it is simple... :)

Why??

Why start a blog? My mother always told me, "Don't write ANYTHING down, that you don't want the world to read!" I guess this goes completely against that great advice! Although, I do follow mostly all of her advice...! What I have learned though, is that there are many purposes to sharing my life... To be able to free myself, not allowing thoughts, fears, and experiences to become bottled up inside, and to share these things, with the hope that someone who has, or is, going through some of the same things, will read, and be encouraged. We all think that we are the only one going through, what we're going through... It is encouraging to know that you're not alone. So many people go through so much, some make it through - and some do not. I have been through so much, and through God's forgiveness and grace, have come out the other side, a stronger woman, a better mommy, and confidnt woman of God. There's so many things that I have to share... mistakes I have made, lessons I have learned, the journey I am on now, and words of wisdom that God has revealed to me... Life... Through My Eyes, I guess...

Me...