"Mommy.... I know it's bedtime, but can I ask you a question?"

As you know, I have four little boys. They are on a schedule, and go to bed at 7pm. Oh yes - 7pm! Ever since they were little babies. So, 6:30pm rolls around, teeth are brushed, clothes are picked out for the next morning, devotion time is done, and we pray together. Then I go around to each one, hug and kiss on them, tell them how much I love them, and pray again, over each one individually. Now it's 7pm.... "Momma time!" But as I am about to leave the room, there come the questions.... Questions about God, and life....

In my head... "Ohhh AGAIN! Stalling tactics at bedtime!" But I go back in, sit on one of their beds, and listen to their questions. A few nights ago it was, "Mommy, I've been wondering.... How did Jesus die? And how did He become alive again? If He's in Heaven, doesn't that mean He is dead, because dead people are in Heaven? I don't understand that part..." It's very rational, and much easier, to say "Boys... I just put you in bed.... Let's talk about this when it's NOT bedtime!" But as much as these are stall tactics, they are also important times, when I have their full attention. They are also times when memories are being made. Special times, of special talks, about things that at any other time, they might not open up about. They are hungry to know Jesus! And to spend time with momma.

So I plop back onto one of their beds, and the conversations begin... I explain the answers, which leads to more questions, honest, pure thoughts, that come flowing out of their mouths. And I have a captive audience, who wants to know more about Jesus, and talk about life - things that kids usually don't open up about in the middle of the day! Sometimes this can go on for over an hour! What could be a frustrating time of "Why are you not asleep!" Turns into precious conversations, quality time together, and memories being made. It's awesome to have your children open up to you. Bedtime or no bedtime - I CHERISH this time we spend together, just talking. We DO start our nightly devotion time a little earlier these days, so there is time to talk, but a lot of the time, they are still too wound up from the day, to be at ease, and let the honest thoughts flow out.

So I think my point is - whatever that time is, which will most likely be the most inconvenient time for us mommas, that your children want to talk... STOP - and LISTEN! Children, especially at the ages of my oldest two - 10 and 9 - don't always speak what's on their mind. So whenever they open up and decide to start talking, or asking questions - stop what you're doing and listen! And answer all their questions. Once they get talking, a lot of things can flow out from there. You've got a child, or children, open, receptive, and ready to open up, and to listen! Take full advantage of this precious time. They grow up so fast, and soon you'll be longing for those late night bedtime conversations! Enjoy every moment with your children. You are making memories that are WAY more precious than any "mommy time"! :)

Love and Blessings!

XOXO, Ginger

You Can't Take Someone Where You've Never Been!

Let's talk about going through hell! Let's talk about all the horrible, scary, and hard things we go through. Let's talk about the things that should have killed us, but God pulled us through, by His grace. Whether these things were our fault, the fault of someone else, or just thrown on us out of nowhere - They affect our lives greatly!

First, we have to get through those times. But what I'm speaking of is AFTER we've made it through. We may have fear in many areas, guilt that the devil likes to torture us with, memories of the past that come rushing back. How do we turn these bad situations around, that should have killed us, or that should have destroyed us, and use them to better us, glorify God, and to make an impact on someone else's life?

The things we go through in life, our hardest times, are the most important times in our lives. Yes, I wish I hadn't gone through a divorce, I wish I hadn't have made horrible mistakes in my past. That's where it gets tricky, because of course, we wish we hadn't had to go through horrible things, but those horrible things are the exact things, that MAKE us.

The trials we walk through have a PURPOSE in our lives. There is a purpose in the pain we go through. Troubled times, all the terrible things we face, that pressure and pain... FORMS SOMETHING ON THE INSIDE OF US. It molds us. It teaches us faith and trust in God. It teaches us not to rely on people, money, health, etc. But to rely on God. All of those other things can fall away in a heartbeat, but God promises never leave us or forsake us. When everything around us is falling apart, When there is no one, when we're left alone, when we don't know how we're going to make it through, the only place for us to turn to is to God! When we're going through those times, and the only thing we have the strength to do is lay on the floor, and cry out to God.... That develops something in us! That time is the most precious time we'll spend with God. That's when all is quiet, we're on the verge of losing our mind, and yet we are the most open to God, and the things He wants to tell us and form in us. Nothing gets developed or formed in us, without trials! We learn to trust in God, because honestly, at that time - there is nothing else to trust in! We learn faith, because we see that as we begin to trust, God begins to work in our lives, and our faith in God is strengthened. We learn to praise through the pain. Because now that we have our trust and our faith strengthened, we can praise through the hard times, knowing that God has us covered. No matter what the enemy throws at us, we praise Him in advance, for what we KNOW He's going to do! That is why the hardest times are so important. Things in us are formed that otherwise wouldn't have been. God uses the things the enemy meant for bad, for His good, forming things in us, changing us, teaching and molding us, so He can take us to the place He has for our lives, so we can fulfill the purpose He has for our us.

See... NOW, at this point, the devil's made a BIG mistake.... We've come out of the worst times of our lives. We made it through, with God, and along the way we have learned to keep going, and when we can't go any further, we've learned to just STAND, to stand even when we feel we can't. We stand. We've learned to have faith in God, to trust in God, and that He will stand with us, or if He needs to, carry us, through ANYTHING that comes our way. Not much can scare us now. We've faced the worst! We've learned to go through hell, all the while praising God. Nothing can take our praise, or our peace anymore. We are completely in tune with, and focused on, GOD, and the things of God. We've learned THE DEVIL IS A LIAR, he comes to steal, kill, and destroy. We can now go through things we don't understand, and instead of fear - there is peace.

When we make it through, after the trials, we now have a BOLDNESS! We have an ATTITUDE towards the devil, and what he throws at us. Oh boy - They devil is going to regret messing with ME! He sure did mess with the wrong girl! He should have killed me when he had the opportunity, because NOW I am not scared. I am STRENGTHENED, with a strength that God gives me! I almost laugh sometimes when the enemy throws things my way, especially when they all pile up at once, and I know the enemy is trying to get me to panic. I laugh because I know his tricks and his ploys, and they can't touch me! I am covered by Jesus, and no matter what He's got my back. I can now look back and say, "If He did it THEN, He'll do it NOW!" If God brought me through all the mess in the past - He WILL do it now too!

So yeah - The devil really messed up, in messing with me, because now I have a story to tell! A story that will take what the enemy meant to destroy me, and use it to save lives, and glorify God! Which brings me to the title of this blog! You can't take someone where you've never been! The enemy wants to keep us in bondage, embarrassed of our past, or afraid to speak out. He wants to shut us up, so we can't be free from our past, so the world won't know how amazing our God is, and so we can't help others! If we don't share our story, the world will never know God's glory! No one can help someone going through something, like someone who's been there. We can not stay bound by our past, and miss out on, first of all, the freedom that comes with telling our story, our testimony. We have to tell it! Tell it with our heads held high, and our hands in the air, giving God all the glory and praise for all He has brought us through. There are so many people going through so many things, who think they are alone. We, who have been through these things, need to be there to speak out, let them know they are not alone, that God does care, and there IS a way out, and an end, to what they are going through. We, who have been through things, and made it out to the glorious other side, have a responsibility to speak out, and help others, like someone who hasn't been there can not do, and to give God the glory all the while!

To sum it all up - The trials we face have a very important purpose, they MOLD and TEACH us! They teach us lessons that God wants us to learn. We gain trust, faith, and strength, in God. So that we can fulfill the plan He has for our lives. We are over comers, and in that we are to help others to overcome what they are facing. We can not stay silent, like the enemy would love for us to! We are to take our story and speak it, as God calls us to do! We can take someone from disaster, to healing. Because we've been there and come out of it stronger than ever! Praise God!

Love and Blessings!

XOXO,
Ginger

A Diagnosis For My Precious Tay Tay.....

Okay, so today was the day for the appointment with Taylor's rheumatologist in St. Pete, at All Children's Hospital. In attendance was me (of course!), ex-hubby, and my daddy. First, I want to thank my daddy for taking the time out of his very busy schedule, to be there to support Frank and I, and Taylor. And for being there to be a third voice, third ear to take in the information given, and to help us in making the tough decisions we had to make. I also want to thank ex-hubby for supporting me in the decision to take Taylor to a doctor so far away, making the drive for us, paying for the (expensive!) gas, and treating us to lunches each visit there. Thank you, momma and daddy, for supporting my "motherly instinct" that this was very serious, and that extreme, unrelenting measures needed to be taken, to protect my baby. I love you all so much.

The appointment began as usual, going over Taylor's case AGAIN, and the symptoms he was experiencing that kept him out of school all week last week. We went over what differentiates Acute Rheumatic Fever from Post Strep Reactive Arthritis. The answer was - not much! They both have the exact same symptoms in the beginning, making it almost impossible to give a child a 100% diagnosis of Acute Rheumatic Fever. The only way to know for sure, it to wait for the heart damage to occur, which is not an option! The thing is though, children with rheumatic fever receive treatment to, among other things, prevent heart damage. Well, children with Post Strep Reactive Arthritis are also at increased risk of heart damage, with subsequent strep infections! So either way - Either diagnosis - Treatment should be given! This was the information that I've known, and needed someone to realize.

Anyway, to continue.... Taylor has most all of the indicators of Rheumatic Fever, and with that fact, combined with the heart murmur, and minor heart valve damage that could be an indicator, they have diagnosed Taylor with Acute Rheumatic Fever. This is not a good thing, of course. There are worries. But there are worries with any serious diagnosis. What is important is that Taylor will now be receiving treatment, and will be protected. They have put him on Amoxicillin for 10 days, to make sure there is not any of the strep infection still present. After 10 days he will begin the RF treatment of a high dose of Penicillin. This can be given in pill form, twice a day or in monthly shots. This will continue for two to seven years, or possibly until he's 21. For now we have chosen the pill form, but we CAN NOT miss a pill, so we will see how it goes, and may switch to the shots, if we find that to be the best option. They also have him on a higher dose of Naproxin, twice a day, and a medication to protect his stomach from the daily Naproxin. So far the Naproxin has not touched his pain, but we'll try their recommendation of a higher dose, and if that doesn't control the pain, then we will have them switch him to a different medication.

I thank God so much for giving me the insight, from the beginning, of what this was, so I knew to push the doctors to take his case seriously, and not to listen to the horrible Dr. Pierre that "there was nothing else that could be done". I praise God that he protected my son through this 8 month process of finding a diagnosis, and that He gave the doctor wisdom to make tough decisions on a tough case. I praise God for Taylor being under HIS protection, and now being protected medically, as well. And I praise Him, in advance, for the healing that WILL begin to occur in Taylor's body and His continued cover over him. Thank you, Jesus!

Side note: Rheumatic fever is not contagious, but his brothers are at risk, because it is hereditary. I have to have a strep culture done on all of the boys, and I have to keep a close eye out for symptoms of RF in them. They can not share drinks, we have to be careful to keep toothbrushes separate, etc. But above all, God is in control, so I will be wise - but I will not live in fear.

Right now I finally feel comfort, peace, and confidence in the plan that has been set in place for Taylor. I pray peace over my son, to know that his pain WILL end, and this WILL eventually be over. There's a long road ahead of us, but God is walking it with us, guiding us, and strengthening us. Thank you so very much to all who have kept Taylor in your prayers, and all who continue to.

Love, Thanks, and Blessings,

Ginger xoxo

A Message From Taylor.....

Taylor does not like to be video taped, as you can tell by his nervousness, but he knows that he's being followed by many, and wanted to speak out on his condition, and how Jesus is going to heal him, in his own words.... My sweet boy, Momma loves you so much.... To the moon. xoxo

Update On Taylor.... So Many Unanswered Questions.

Today was my son Taylor's appointment with the cardiologist. He gave me some information that I was unaware of, but I left feeling like I had less answers than when I started.

When I got there the cardiologist had read over Tay's chart, and he came in and listened to me recount the events of the last 7 months. After hearing Taylor's story, and examining him - his swollen eyes, swollen finger and toe joints, rash under his arms, and severe pain in almost all of his joints, he said that he did not want to do the eccocardiogram. He said he would do it, because it had been requested by the rheumatologist, but that he was very afraid of the fact that the rheumatologist was basing Taylor's diagnosis on the results of the eccocardiogram. He said that he's an old/experienced doctor, and he HAS been involved in cases of Rheumatic Fever, and Taylor has all of the classic symptoms. He explained that Rheumatic Fever does not usually cause heart damage on the first occurrences - at the onset of the disease. It can - but does not usually. He said to base the diagnosis of RF on normal results of an eccocardiogram would be very unwise - which is what I, and he, understands the rhuematologist to be doing. He continued to explain that a child will have the onset of Rheumatic Fever, with the symptoms that Taylor is experiencing, and then the next time he's exposed to the strep virus, he will have another outbreak, for lack of better words, (I'm trying my best to remember the wording of the doctor!). Each time the child is exposed to the strep virus, if they are not on the Rheumatic Fever treatment of daily penicillin, they will have another outbreak. With each occurrence, or outbreak, the child is at risk for irreversible heart damage, leading eventually to heart failure, if not receiving treatment. It's not a matter of "if", it's a matter of "when". The irreversible heart damage WILL begin at some point, in an untreated child with RF. As soon as the heart damage begins, it WILL CONTINUE at that point, with each occurrence of RF. Once the damage has been done, it cannot be repaired, it is irreversible, and without treatment, it will continue to damage the heart, leading to - well the worst, which I won't even speak. (By the way - the eccocardiogram results were completely normal, as the cardiologist suspected they would be. He has a "harmless heart murmur" only, at this point.)

So.... Now I have quite a problem. First of all, whether anyone believes me or not, God revealed Rheumatic Fever to me, way back in the beginning, when Tay was having major hip pain and his ASO Titer was high (strep in his blood). No one would listen. The horrible Dr. Pierre, in Ocala, FL, got angry with me for questioning her when she told me "He's just resistant to the antibiotics. There's nothing we can do about that", and I finally got someone to take notice at All children's Hospital, 2 hours away from home. And now, I am going to go back for a follow up with the rheumatologist at ACH, and it's quite possible that he is going to look at Taylor's eccocardiogram results, and misdiagnose him, putting him at a huge risk for his life.

Again, I will say, VERY CLEARLY, that God has my son protected, and when all is said and done, he will be just fine. I know this. But I also have to be wise, and follow my motherly instincts, and God's direction that He has given me, and protect my child. I can't allow him to be misdiagnosed, just because this is a rare disease that a young rheumatologist is not familiar with. I can't let it get to the point of irreversible heart damage, before someone realizes they made a huge mistake.

So I am going to go to this follow up appointment and see what the doctor has to say. If he says it's nothing, and can't give me the exact reasons and FACTS that led him to that decision, than I will go to yet another doctor. I need to research if a rheumatologist is the right doctor to see for a second opinion on rheumatic fever. A rheumatologist is for rheumatoid arthritis - There might be another type of doctor that has more of a specialty, more knowledge, on rheumatic fever. I really don't know, I need to figure that part out.

Right now, I know that there is something terribly wrong with my son, that has him in daily pain, missing tons of school, and that has had a major impact on his quality of life, for almost 8 months now. I need answers, with facts and reasons to back them up, not guessing games. To hear my son tell me, "Mommy, I just want this pain to stop. I'm in pain every single day, and I just want to know WHY I'm in this pain, mommy", it just breaks my heart.

Taylor has a call of God on His life. God has amazing plans for this little boy. And with a big call, comes big attacks from the enemy. This will be part of Taylor's testimony, his struggle he went through at age 9, that God walked him through, holding his hand the whole way, and laying in the MRI machine with him. :) Taylor and I KNOW that God has angels around him, protecting him. We KNOW that there WILL be answers, and there WILL be an end to this. Right now, we have no answers. But in the words of Taylor, "God doesn't do things right away most of the time, right mommy? Sometimes He wants us to go through something, so we can learn to trust him, and learn to be strong and know that He will protect us. But then He does miracles! God is going to do a miracle for ME, mommy!" Tayor is exactly right. Preach it, my sweet boy!

Please keep Taylor in your prayers. And his momma too. This is really hard on a mother. But all I have to do is look back at the past, and see all the miracles God has done in my life, all the things He has brought me through, and I know that without a doubt - IF HE DID IT THEN, HE'LL DO IT NOW! God will never leave us, nor forsake us.... He promises us that.

Love and thanks to all, for your support and prayers.

XOXO,

Ginger